The Observer of the Self: Reflection and the Search for Identity - Brandon Pattillo | 1/3

February 14 • Circlo Podcast

Circlo Podcast

Understanding the Self

This series gathers reflections from a long conversation with Brandon Pattillo, unfolding as a path of inner development:

Understanding the Self
Choosing the Path
Becoming the Person

We begin with the most fundamental question — who we are, and what reflection reveals about us. These notes attempt to capture not only Brandon’s ideas, but the personal thoughts they awakened.

If you are reading this, I consider you an intellectual friend. I assume you are searching too — searching to understand people, yourself, and the quiet forces that shape who we become.

I recommend listening to the audio version of this admirable conversation. In this article, I attempt to condense the essence of Brandon’s message and combine it with personal reflections on who we are, what reflection reveals, and how culture shapes us.

This first section of the interview is especially substantial on topics about identity, self-discovery, and the diligence required to evaluate culture. It is engaging to listen to Brandon speak with such depth of thought. There are concepts here that can enlighten us in a hard world where comprehension of the self is limited.

Click here for the Complete Interview.

I am confident you will grow.

Brandon Pattillo is an honors student from Brigham Young University, a psychology major with many minors in statistics, philosophy and professional writing and communication. He is very curious, very impacting and such a charismatic person, a member of an impacting club at BYU called The Un-Alone Club, where he is helping many students from the community, and he also worked as a peer mentor. He loves to run marathons, plays some basketball and coaches, and has presented research at the 2025 Sleep Conference in Seattle and worked on papers in the field of sleep research. His conversations bring meaning, joy and change, and he continues to inspire, amaze and push towards achievements through deep reflections, responsibility, identity, perspective and faith.

On Understanding the Self

If you truly want to understand someone, do not give them a personality test — sit down and have a deep conversation, and you will find out.

Brandon strongly values psychology for its study of humans. He describes humans as complex, nuanced, and meaningful. Through his education studying psychology, he has become more self-conscious and aware.

He referred to the movie Inside Out 2, where the main character realizes she is a good person who sometimes does bad things — humble yet selfish. At first, her self-concept is simple: I am a good person. But through experiences, she tests her character and discovers she is both good and flawed.

Self-reflection — dwelling in the depths of intertwined thoughts and giving yourself time and space to unravel them into understanding — is powerful for a peaceful life, especially in a world of speed and unprocessed thoughts.

It is one of the most wonderful experiences in life when we are able to see ourselves more clearly. Experiences become valuable to our comprehension of the self when they are magnified through reflection.

From this, the question becomes unavoidable: Who am I, really, beneath the simple story I tell about myself?

This concept deeply resonated with me. As I have been going through the college application process, it has been a strenuous path of discovery — long hours, many drafts, and difficult questions about who I am, where I come from, and where I am heading.

Many of my reflections focused on my experiences. This process has given me peace and confidence in myself.

From this self-discovery, we can act upon understanding to grow, improve, and direct our life decisions.

Ennoble

ennoble
/əˈnōb(ə)l/
To ennoble is to raise someone or something to a higher rank, dignity, or moral standing.

This is an action I will begin to practice more deliberately. Brandon shared the idea of helping others through psychology and education so they can discover and unravel the beauty of who they are — to believe in themselves and act with trust in the outside world.

Throughout life, we experience deep self-doubt and often fail to appreciate the wonder of our own being. By ennobling others, we can bring these hidden qualities to light for those who need that understanding of themselves.

Culture and Belief

Culture plays a decisive role in our being. It presets certain beliefs that we feel drawn to accept in order to fit in. Often, when we encounter a viewpoint associated with a culture, party, or organization we socially reject, we immediately discard the idea without reflection.

So I asked Brandon whether we should expose ourselves to contrasting ideas outside our culture to enrich our understanding of ourselves — to discover whether parts of our identity are built on beliefs we have never truly examined, but merely accepted.

Confirmation bias — a cognitive bias that causes people to search for, interpret, and recall information that supports their existing beliefs while ignoring contradictory evidence.

Brandon shared insights on how he evaluates ideas he would instinctively reject. By evaluating them, we can either confirm why we do not align with those ideas or discover that we actually accept some part of them. There is value in examining opposing beliefs — whether to strengthen our convictions or to reconsider them.

Closing

There is a quiet dignity in daring to understand oneself. Reflection is not comfort — it is responsibility. Once you see clearly who you are, you cannot return to not knowing.